Bad Writing
Posted by staff on October 16, 2009
Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest,named for the british novelist Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton. Bulwer-Lytton is known for the famous phrase “It was a dark and stormy night.” A whimsical literary competition the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.
Here are some sentences from our creative writing class.
As I questioned the random nameless pursuer I had caught he exclaimed that he works for a powerful secret agency with spies everywhere, like my bodyguard who then used the element of surprise to shoot this completely superfluous other guy in the room. ———————————————D
Love was in the air that one beautiful day in my grade school, so many years ago it seems now when my first encounter with the opposite sex took place, I’ll never forget that magical lunch break we spent together locked in the locker room. —————————————————————————————————————————-J
The door slowly creaked open and the door hinges clearly needed oil but never mind that because there in the doorway stood a black human figure that stylishly made its way towards the side of the bed, the left side, not the right, and raised the blade in the air and brought it down onto the left lung, not the right, of the person in the bed and so the mystery murderer made his swift escape leaving the person in the bed dying of an injury with the only sound that could be heard of the lung with a hole in it which sounded like a nearly empty ketchup bottle that you try getting the ketchup out of but it just makes that wheezy funny but gross noise. ———————————-J
